Counting the Beat

"The guy next to me just clapped...I'd better wait 1/4 second before I clap. Don't want him to think I'm trying to clap over him or anything."

So you're at a gig. Maybe a quiet one from a local band at the local bar. Maybe a massive international band on a stadium tour. Maybe a whole string of bands sharing the stage at a festival. But you're there, the atmosphere is energised, and the music is loud. Suddenly, a song song starts playing. You know, THAT song. The one with the solid heavy beat, maybe a little dancey, but solid. The one the makes everyone want to clap along (or maybe the band started a clap along to engage the audience). And so everyone starts clapping, but they're not really clapping along. It feels out of time. It's too fast, off-beat, too slow...something's wrong.

This phenomenon, known as audience-can't-keep-a-beat syndrome, is unexplainable, inescapable, and unfortunately has no cure. One theory is that, due to limits on the speed of sound, people at the back are hearing the beat half a second or so after people at the front, so the clapping will be off by the same amount. Furthermore, it takes an extra half second for the clap from the people at the back to reach the front, totalling 1 second time delay. Of course if the song has 60, or 120 BPM, then you won't notice and it'll all blend in.  It also means the if you listen to all the claps from front to back, it has a Mexican wave sort of effect as the people further and further back hear the beat after everyone in front of them. And Mexican waves are always awesome.

Given, however, that most of what you can hear is from those immediately around you, this theory is rather useless since the delayed clap will also be quieter and less noticeable, whereas the claps from the dude standing next to you are instant and loud. And still out of time. How can someone hearing the beat at the same time as you, be clapping at a different time? This can't be explained by science like the above theory. Simply put, this person is uncoordinated, and/or slow, and/or drunk (and/or stoned), and/or just fucking with you. So you push on forward, hopefully the people up the front can clap. It's where all the hardcore fans are, they know the songs well enough to keep a beat. Nope. Some girl next to you is clapping to an entirely different beat. Everywhere you go, the people around you just can't clap. WHY!? Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's really you who can't clap.

Of course, I myself can clap, I'm great at beats. Master of beats, or master-beater if you will. So next time you're at a live music show, why don't you try really hard and just stick to the timing and beat. Go on, it's not that hard. But I guarantee everything will still be off. And so the out-of-time audience remains forever a mystery.

Chris