Stop. Star Wars Time!

"Are you watching the trailers again?"
No, not again...still.

Yep. I'm excited. And the worst part is - and get ready, this is going to be a long sentence - I have to wait until Sunday because even though I wanted to see the midnight screening, I've recently moved to Melbourne and didn't know anyone to see it with when tickets went on sale since my girlfriend is still in Brisbane (hence you may deduce that some of the above scenarios are not 100% accurate) and I didn't want to go by myself, and I don't get back to Brisbane until Friday, so we were originally going to go on Saturday but the sessions were sold out/not suitable which is why I'm now seeing on Sunday instead. FOUR WHOLE DAYS AFTER IT IS RELEASED. This is going to be a tough week...

Chris

In the Doghouse

Always choose the house with the dog.

I recently moved house. And by that, I mean finally moved out of my parents place (from their point of view that is, I didn't mind, but they're probably glad I'm gone). I didn't really have a choice since I got a new job that required interstate training. So it was a case of "BRB Brisbane - hello Melbourne". It didn't quite pan out as above, really I was lucky to land the house I'm in now, but it does have a dog. Her name is Macy, she's small and loves cuddles. You're jealous aren't you. I guess the house is pretty good too.

Chris

Literally Figuratively

It's just a figure of speech, you really didn't have to do that...

Always be careful when saying common expressions - some people prefer physical expressions. Personally, I only say things exactly how I mean them to be interpreted. Sometimes I don't know what to say, like now. Let's just leave it here.

Chris

An Argument in Favour of Genetic Hybrids and Cloning

Why did we ever think dinosaur parks were a bad idea? So many activities!

I've been waiting for another Jurassic Park movie for years. Back in around 2012 I heard one was in the mix, then shortly after it was canned/postponed. I don't know if what eventually became Jurassic World was a revival of that, or something completely new, but I don't care cos it's awesome (I could do some research and answer that question for myself...but I'm lazy and it doesn't matter because we got the movie in the end anyway).

I was always terrified of Jurassic Park as a kid, particularly the kitchen scene with the raptors, yet I still wanted to watch whenever it came one TV. Jurassic World is another whole dinosaur movie. Perhaps not as scary (granted, I am three times older than I was watching the original), but it's massive, and full of the same action/adventure. There's a good dose of lighthearted humour and one-liners, and some surprising cross-references to the original movie (or the original park).

The plot obviously isn't completely original, with the whole dinosaur-escapes-and-wreaks-havoc-in-a-tourist-park thing being more or less the same as the first movie. But it's meant to be that way, since we're seeing how the park was fixed up following the disaster of the original park. And there's a nice twist in the form of a hybrid dinosaur thrown in the works. First of all, the science behind that is really interesting; to take cloning technology and mix it with hybrid genetic technology is mind-blowingly awesome and makes for a really cool new dinosaur. Plus, it has the advantage of being free from the restrictions of the previous movies, since they could really make the dinosaur be anything they wanted it to be. Having said that, given the near limitless opportunities, I would've like to see a real Frankenstein of a dinosaur. You know, like a flying, amphibious, venomous dinosaur with armor and horns and crazy shit. Although that's probably taking the sciences a bit too far. What we get with the Indominus Rex is actually believable, since all the base dinosaurs are from the same family (or genus, species, whatever you want to call it), and is still quiet awesome and freaky. Solid dinosaur, solid movie.

Apparently there's going to be another sequel. Hell yes.

Chris

Here Come the DRONES!

Solid rhythm though, and is that falsetto I hear? Oh - it's just one of the motors dying.

So Muse released a new album. There's been a lot of hype for the past year or so, with information slowly leaking out in one form or another. Then came the singles and promo releases. And now it's here. Well...not physically, for me at least. I pre-ordered the deluxe edition, and thanks to Australia Post's notoriously good service, I still haven't received it yet. It should've arrived on the 5th. But I do have a digital copy of the album which was provided as part of the pre-order, so I was able to listen to the songs anyway (well...the other half of the album that hadn't already been uploaded to YouTube). Now I've heard it in full, I though I'd do a track-by-track rundown - note that I had prior general knowledge that the album should be "stripped down..." and "...heavier" than more recent albums, according to the band, as well as the fact that it's a concert album (tells some sort of narrative) Also some of the songs I'd already heard, so my opinion is from whenever I had the first hearing.

DEAD INSIDE

Expectation: Needs to have a big sound to draw you into the album. Reminds me of "Dead Star", so might be pretty heavy. Lyrics to do with losing hope?

Initial Reaction: Wow, kinda dancey. It is big, but not at all heavy. Comparable to "Madness" and "Follow Me", with a bit of 80's thrown in. Close with the meaning, sounds more like it's about losing love.

Final Verdict: Great opener and awesome song by itself. Really deep and meaningful. The word "drones" is mentioned...Hypothesis that I will make an appearance somehow in all the songs.

DRILL SERGEANT

Expectation: It's in brackets (or parenthesis...I don't know which is which), so it's some kinda of interlude or outro/intro to the previous/following song. Given the name, probably vocal, rather than instrumental.

Initial Reaction: Pretty much what I expected, the call/response theme is kinda cool. Definitely an intro to the next song.

Final Verdict: As a song by itself, not much too it. But obviously designed to be played with "Psycho", as they are in the lyric video. Will definitely be played live, and will be awesome.

PSYCHO

Expectation: Might start soft perhaps, but it'll build up to be pretty fast and heavy, maybe like "Agitated". About someone losing control and becoming a psychopathic killer?

Initial Reaction: Nice use of an old jam-riff. Definitely heavy. Kinda cool how the Drill Sergeant makes appearances throughout. Lyrics by themselves are a bit silly, but given the context, make perfect sense.

Final Verdict: Solid song, nice to get a bit of the old Muse sound back with a good long track. Helps build the narrative, so far about a guy losing love and emotion, so decides to join the military where he will become a "psycho". Another 'drones' mention.

MERCY

Expectation: For some reason I'm expecting "Hyper Chondriac Music" (not "Hyper Music"), sort of slow but deep and heavy at the same time. Perhaps from a victim's  point of view, after being confronted by the character in "Psycho"

Initial Reaction: Hmm...sounds a bit commercial. The voice is obviously Muse, but the music could be any modern rock band. A bit like Starlight maybe, but not quite as good. Deep in meaning certainly, but musically a bit disappointing.

Final Verdict: Actually gets better the more you listen to it. Still not a smashing Muse song, but it is quite good though, especially in context of the narrative so far (the character realising what he became in "Psycho", and wanting to be free again). 'Drones' mentioned.

REAPERS

Expectation: Has another really heavy sounded name, not sure exactly what to expect though. Lyrically about the military wanting to reap the character for all he's worth before letting him go.

Initial Reaction: Nice intro, this is gonna be heavy. Like a cross between AC/DC and RATM. Interesting up-beat chorus, but loving Chris' heaving backing vocals. Cool use of some kind of vocorder in the background. Whoa shit, that's a heavy outro. Love it.

Final Response: I can see why they've been playing it live. This song is big and awesome. Bonus points for multiple 'drones' references.

THE HANDLER

Expectation: Deep and heavy, but very stripped back. Maybe about the drill sergeant (the "handler") trying to regain control of the main character.

Initial Reaction: "Stockholm Syndrome" reborn. Got a nice slow, heavy groove. Awesome solo, really kicking. 

Final Verdict: Nothing to make it stand out, but it doesn't need to. Another solid track, and works the narrative well. Disappointed that 'drones' aren't mentioned at all. My Hypothesis - wrong!

JFK

Expectation: More brackets, so another outro/intro. Gonna go with intro to the next song. Probably excerpts from a speech or media report.

Initial Reaction: Yep, it's a speech. Now I have to pay attention. Some cool distorted slams, nice effect. A bit of strings too...makes it kinda sad.

Final Verdict: Again, you wouldn't listen to it as a song by itself, but it works well as an intro when you pair it with "Defector", as is done for the lyric video.

DEFECTOR

Expectation: Sounds kinda of Nazi/Communist. The character finally managed to escape and get away from it all. So might be a bit faster and triumphant.

Initial Reaction: Another heavy track, when suddenly Queen. That works pretty well actually. Yeah. It's not fast, but it does have a triumphant feel. Kinda like "Survival" a bit. Is Matt saying 'Pwoblem'?Cool how it comes back to JFK's speech at the end.

Final Verdict: Would be good for a musical or rock opera. Great song. Still no 'drones'.

REVOLT

Expectation: Shit gets real and messy. Riots everywhere. Sounds a bit communist again. So maybe like "Uprising" with extra overdrive.

Initial Response: The sirens sound like "Uprising" live. Some weird synth going on here. Very Queen again, with harmonised lyrics, and some nice Brain May-esque solos. Surprisingly upbeat in the chorus. It's actually about finding the power to fight back, not shit falling apart.

Final Verdict: This should be pair with "Defector", they go well together, like they're two parts of an act. The 'drones' return!

AFTERMATH

Expectation: Obviously about what happens after everything has happened. Although there's still two songs left, so seems weird to end it now. Maybe like "Exogenesis: Redemption".

Initial Reaction: Nice change of pace, literally. Much softer and slower. The character seems to be finding meaning and love in his life again. The sun is coming out, the darkness is fading. A bit like "Neutron Star Collision" with "Blackout".

Final Verdict: Yep, it's definitely the end. Where does the album go now? Good song though. The more I get through the album, the more the narrative works. Back to no 'drones'.

THE GLOBALIST

Expectation: Well apparently it's a sort-of sequel to "Citizen Erased". So it has to be long surely, with many different themes. The content of "Citizen Erased" actually fits in with the album in a way, so a sequel would tie things together nicely.

Initial Reaction: Very western/Spanish sounding...Ok, there's definitely a lot of different themes going on here. Nice heavy break in the middle. Now we seem to be visiting "United States of Eurasia". Interesting song.

Final Verdict: Not what I was expecting sound-wise, but this is a masterpiece. Every concept album needs that one song that's just massive and intricate. Instead of making a song in parts a-la "Exogenesis" and "The 2nd Law", it's one big song perfectly tied together. No 'drones' again.

DRONES

Expectation: Maybe separate from the overall narrative, but sums up the general concept. Something quick jumpy to close things off. Surely 'drones' have to mentioned in this song.

Initial Reaction: Oh, "The Globalist" has finished, this is "Drones". This is very different, are they trying to make a hymn? Weird as a song, but cool on the album. Some nice lyrical references to the other songs on the album.

Final Verdict: It does tie things together in a kind of summary without adding to the story being told. But not in the way I thought it would. In a similar way that "Drill Sergeant" and "JFK" should really be played before "Psycho" and "Defector" respectively, rather than on their own, "Drones" should really be played after "The Globalist" as an outro. Yay, 'drones' return again.

THE ALBUM (DRONES)

Expectation:  It'll be nice to have a fully developed concept album from Muse. They seem to have been toying a bit with it over the last couple albums, specifically "The 2nd Law", so I'm interested to see how they pull it off. There should be a few heavier songs if quotes from the band are anything to go by. Also expecting less synth/strings/EFX and more raw instrumental sound.

Initial Reaction: I'm not sure if knowing what half the songs were like before the album came out was a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, it was a nice preview, but at the same time it'd be nice to hear it full first (maybe only one or two previously released songs, not six), especially since it's a concept album and the songs are meant to go together. Really well developed though.

Final Verdict: Muse seem to think it's the best album they've done in a while. I don't 100% agree, but I'm certainly not disagreeing. Maybe equal 1st. It's a really solid album, not a single song I don't like (despite initial reactions) and the narrative is really interesting too. Can't wait for the tour. There's been suggestions of a stage production as well. Whilst not likely, it would definitely work and I'd be buying tickets in an instant. Now all I need is for the actual album to arrive...

Chris

Avengers Expanded

Stark: "Ok seriously, where are you all coming from? Guys?"

If you haven't seen the new Avengers movie yet I can only assume it's because you don't like them, or perhaps, nope that's really the only excuse that makes sense. Age of Ultron was a great movie, just like all the other movies before it in the MCU. And of course, the whole idea of a movie is to make money, so it does that job really well (some might argue the main objective is to entertain, I guess that depends on whether you're a developer or consumer). 

In the same sense that Ewoks were created to reach a larger audience (aimed at kids) and because of their adorable marketability, it kinda feels like Marvel just keep throwing more (super)heroes into the Avengers mix. But it works. Box office sales go through the roof every time and the merchandising department has more source material than they know what to do with. So I guess it's a win for everyone, the audience gets enjoyment, and the creators get money (and possible enjoyment).

Chris

P.s. for some reason I had trouble uploading this image without losses in quality due to compression and resizing. It's not something I've had an issue with previously (that's what he said), but in any case, for a larger and less grainy version, just click the picture.

Galactic Celebrations

BEEP-BOOP WEEEOOW!!!!

This is a big year for Star Wars. Let's celebrate. Also, I'm making a move for May 4th to be an international (galactic... universal?) public holiday, like Christmas and New Years Day. Vote for an official Star Wars Day. Spread the word, make it happen.

Cryptic Lyrics

I couldn't think of a joke to put in the caption, so have this instead: *THIS*

No review of pop-culture, no statements on social behaviour, just a graphical representation of some song lyrics. Guess the song title and band for a prize. Might I just say though, those are some nice boots. I wonder if I show this picture to a shoemaker if he'll design a pair like that for me.

Counting the Beat

"The guy next to me just clapped...I'd better wait 1/4 second before I clap. Don't want him to think I'm trying to clap over him or anything."

So you're at a gig. Maybe a quiet one from a local band at the local bar. Maybe a massive international band on a stadium tour. Maybe a whole string of bands sharing the stage at a festival. But you're there, the atmosphere is energised, and the music is loud. Suddenly, a song song starts playing. You know, THAT song. The one with the solid heavy beat, maybe a little dancey, but solid. The one the makes everyone want to clap along (or maybe the band started a clap along to engage the audience). And so everyone starts clapping, but they're not really clapping along. It feels out of time. It's too fast, off-beat, too slow...something's wrong.

This phenomenon, known as audience-can't-keep-a-beat syndrome, is unexplainable, inescapable, and unfortunately has no cure. One theory is that, due to limits on the speed of sound, people at the back are hearing the beat half a second or so after people at the front, so the clapping will be off by the same amount. Furthermore, it takes an extra half second for the clap from the people at the back to reach the front, totalling 1 second time delay. Of course if the song has 60, or 120 BPM, then you won't notice and it'll all blend in.  It also means the if you listen to all the claps from front to back, it has a Mexican wave sort of effect as the people further and further back hear the beat after everyone in front of them. And Mexican waves are always awesome.

Given, however, that most of what you can hear is from those immediately around you, this theory is rather useless since the delayed clap will also be quieter and less noticeable, whereas the claps from the dude standing next to you are instant and loud. And still out of time. How can someone hearing the beat at the same time as you, be clapping at a different time? This can't be explained by science like the above theory. Simply put, this person is uncoordinated, and/or slow, and/or drunk (and/or stoned), and/or just fucking with you. So you push on forward, hopefully the people up the front can clap. It's where all the hardcore fans are, they know the songs well enough to keep a beat. Nope. Some girl next to you is clapping to an entirely different beat. Everywhere you go, the people around you just can't clap. WHY!? Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's really you who can't clap.

Of course, I myself can clap, I'm great at beats. Master of beats, or master-beater if you will. So next time you're at a live music show, why don't you try really hard and just stick to the timing and beat. Go on, it's not that hard. But I guarantee everything will still be off. And so the out-of-time audience remains forever a mystery.

Chris

The Great Zoo of Hollywood

Buried in sand you have to claw your way out, and it gets in your eyes, and mouth. Buried in books you can just read your way out.

I recently finished reading the latest book from Australian author, Matthew Reilly, The Great Zoo of China. He released it back in November last year (although if you're in the US of A, you only got it in January), so I was dying to read it and glad I finally had the chance.

So I read the book, and like all his books before it, it was full of action and exciting locations, and had me thinking, "I would totally watch this if it was a movie", which then got me thinking, "How come none of his books have been made into movies yet?". I've reviewed Contest and Scarecrow & The Army of Thieves before (check out the Graveyard for them), and mentioned how awesome they'd be on the big screen, not to mention his other books as well. And yet here I am, writing again about the lack of Hollywood treatment to Matthew's work. So let's start with this last book - Spielberg, Whedon, Lucas, Nolan, Cameron, Jackson; please take note, and tell your friends.

Put simply, The Great Zoo of China is like Jurassic Park, but with Dragons, but it certainly doesn't lack originality. There's an underlying political discourse, surrounding the uprising of China as a global superpower. The dragons are quite dissimilar to your typical mythological dragons too. Matthew also puts an incredible amount of research into his books, and whilst dragons aren't real (that we know of), he certainly makes them seem very real drawing comparisons to reptiles, dinosaurs, and even mammals. With the new Jurassic World movie coming out, I see no reason why this book should be neglected. It's a very new and interesting approach to classic monster thrillers. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Not convinced? How about the Shane Schofield books - massive military style action/thrillers. Or the Jack West Jr. series - modern day, super-sized Indiana Jones adventures. There's Reilly's stand-alone book Temple - a perfect blend of Shane and Jack in an action adventure, with an ancient history story running in parallel. I'll bring up Contest again - Matthew's very first book, a sci-fi thriller, that I'm sure all his fans are absolutely dying to see on film. Even his young adult book, Hover Car Racer - a fun and high octane underdog story, this was in development, then canned... You want something different? The Tournament - a murder mystery set in 1546. Jump ahead to it's DVD release, and you can include Roger Ascham & The King's Lost Girl as a bonus feature. I'M EVEN DOING YOUR MARKETING FOR YOU.

All the source material you need is there. I want it, Matthew wants it, even people who don't know his books want it. Make a goddamn Matthew Reilly movie.

Chris

Yoga

My pictured skills may be slightly exaggerated. My girlfriend's boobs are not.

I recently said good-bye to my long time laptop, the Acer Extensa 5600. I got it nearly 6 years ago, and boy did it go the distance. I was good in its day, but its day was quite a short one thanks to a spike in portable computing technology. But I stood by it anyway, and it lasted perfectly fine for at least the first 4 years, at which point I probably should have replaced it.

The battery became more or less useless, only surviving for as long as it took to move position and find a new power socket. It started getting really slow and having to think too much. And one of the screen hinges broke, so I couldn't close the lid anymore making it even less portable. It was reduced to essentially a low-powered flat-bed "desktop". But it was still running, and with uni out of the way now, I was only using it for Internet and emails mostly anyway. Oh, and editing my videos for WETS! This soon became too much and it could only handle one program open at a time. Want to check your emails? Better close Chrome. Want to edit some footage? Better close your emails. And then suddenly it couldn't even do that.

Expecting that this would happen soon, I'd been researching laptops over the last few months to see what was available. I wanted SSD, which whilst they generally have smaller capacity, they are faster and more reliable, plus with external storage being so cheap and accessible these days internal storage isn't really an issue. HD screen was a must; touch screen indifferent. Whilst not at all necessary I wanted an i7 processor over an i5, simply because why wouldn't you. I also wanted at least 8Gb of ram, for the same reason really, but especially if I did get and i7 4Gb wouldn't suffice.

I was just about to settle on a very nice Asus Ultrabook, when I stumbled upon the Lenovo site. I hadn't disregarded Lenovo - they're very sturdy and capable - I'd just sort of forgotten about them. Enter the Yoga 2 Pro. It came with all the specs I wanted in a neat package; super fast, super light, super HD, and most important in a laptop, super portable. Oh, and available in an online only limited edition orange colour. 

If I had one complaint, it's that the screen is TOO good. It's Quad HD+, with 3200x1800 resolution. For general use it's amazing, however not all programs are able to run in such a high resolution, and as they shrink to fit the screen, things get a little warped. Some images are pixelated, as they were designed for a lower resolution, but the same on-screen area now has twice as many pixels and it doesn't have enough information to display the image properly.

So essentially, most programs are zoomed out (though very crisp), and most images (mainly icons, favicons etc) are zoomed in. But it's nothing I can't live with, and the pros of the screen make up for it. Everything else is amazing. The speakers aren't the best compared to some bigger laptops (the Asus I was looking at came with some very nice Bang & Olufsen speakers), but for a small laptop they're probably at the better end - certainly better than my last laptop anyway.

If you're wondering where the Yoga gets its name from, and didn't figure it out from the above comic, it's because of the versatility in its positions making it very good in bed. It of course has standard laptop mode (1st frame) with screen and keyboard. You can also fold the screen all the way back (deactivating the keys and touch pad) turning it into a tablet (2nd frame).

The other two positions are more or less like comparing missionary to cowgirl - pretty much the same just upside down."Stand Mode" uses the keyboard (face-down) as a baseplate (3rd frame), while "Tent Mode" uses the edges of the base and screen for support (5th frame). Both pretty much useful for when you want to use it as a tablet, but don't want to hold it and need it propped up. So with a full 360 degree hinge, you can put it at literally any angle for any purpose, hence why it's good in bed. 

One very awesome little bonus, is that during the sale, I could get this mouse, for only $1. I didn't need a new mouse, as I already had wireless one for my old laptop. But ONE DOLLAR, and it's super awesome. The movement is very smooth and precise. In place of a scroll wheel, it has a scroll 'surface', which works the same as a wheel when you move your finger up and down over it, and also has scroll wheel "click" functionality. However it also takes gestures from the left and right, which correspond to the left and right screen function in Windows 8 (apps and charms), and has a convenient "Start" button.

But that's not all. Twist the base, and it goes from nicely contoured for mousing, to sleek and flat for presentation mode. The left and right buttons can be used to navigate a presentation, whilst clicking the scroll surface activates a laser pointer. LASERS! *PEW* *PEW* *PEW*. You can use it with a wireless dongle, or pair it with Bluetooth. It's a very neat accessory, and even at full price ($70) I'd certainly recommend getting one.

The verdict: the Lenovo Yoga 2 Pro is an exceptional little laptop, and fairly affordable too. If you want to go the extra mile, I'd even recommend the Yoga 3 (or Pro) as it can only get better. 

Chris